Archuleta A. Chisolm
Once You Flee, Black Women Won't Leave The Light On For You
If you have yet to hear about the Passport Bros, well, you are probably better for it. There are particular groups of men, primarily Black, that have declared because they can’t find suitable partners in the United States; because Black American women are too masculine, aggressive and unfeminine; because Black women intentionally emasculate them; because Black women are unappreciative, they are getting their passports and fleeing to the Caribbean, Philippines, Latin American, and even the continent of Africa to find suitable wives.
This behavior is being called a phenomenon but is actually nothing new. Men and women have been doing this for decades. However, what is new is the fact that Black men are leading this charge and on social media, all the while villainizing Black women in the process.
The more I think about this, the more I don’t feel any particular way about this movement. Some of the Passport Bros are not on this wavelength, and actually have decent and good intentions. They travel, meet women, have a great time and love Black women. My concern is not Black men deciding that they want to participate in a different marriage market. What does concern me is the way these Black men are participating in the most virulent types of behavior towards Black women.
The talking points they have are not genuine desires for love and marriage. Rather, it’s more about supporting an ignorant ideology. This hate, disdain, and malice towards Black women comes from various places. Regardless, Black women are already contending with so much crap, these ideologies just compound on our backs. It’s one more thing we have to guard ourselves from.
The truth is, if they want to go, they are more than welcome to. Go ahead, get your passports. Flee to these other countries and get whatever it is you are seeking. Black women are not mad, but it’s apparent they are which is why they’ve given up. Mad that the Black women they desire to partner with won’t take a backseat, won’t stop being educated, won’t stop buying their own homes and cars, won’t stop taking trips and being happy. Mad that they won’t submit, stop having opinions and settle for an antiquated partnership of staying in her place.
God forbid that a Black woman says she doesn't need a man. Because somehow, in the year of our Lord 2023, Black women are supposed to need men. Even Bishop T.D. Jakes expressed his displeasure with women being "too masculine" in the home. In other words, we're not sitting back nice and pretty. The good Bishop suggested that we're not allowing men to be the leaders they are supposed to be, and head of the house, because we have the nerve to be out here living our best lives personally and professionally. We're doing too much and it's out of order.
Lord, this is a whole other conversation we must have! Anywho...
When Black men decide they no longer want Black women, that’s not our problem. These particular men need a dating market they can actually compete in.
Most of the Black men shown in these YouTube and TikTok videos are just dancing with, interviewing, and taking pictures/videos of these women. That’s not dating. That’s not marriage. What it does show is that they are having a good time. You can find women to trick on anywhere. You don’t have to leave the country for that.
If they feel like their dollars can stretch further in the Dominican Republic or the Philippines, okay. Just be honest about that. Because any beautiful woman, anywhere, will enjoy your money if you’re offering.
In a viral TikTok video, a woman from the Philippines is speaking to Black women saying if we don’t want our Black men, then they will gladly take them.
Really? Maybe you should ask us why we won't take them.
There are particular circumstances that would cause those women to accept a deal that we, as Western women, would not accept or even entertain. That deal that looks good to them, insulting to us here in America. There are socioeconomic and political circumstances that exist for two different women in different parts of the world. What’s tragic is that the government is responsible for keeping those circumstances present, and will continue to do so.
Scooping up these women and promising to get them out of their situation is a tall order most of these men can’t even fulfill. These women are not in an enviable position. Many are being manipulated and exploited by these men, because they are in vulnerable life situations. The men translate that to them being submissive and agreeable.
The antagonism that the #PassportBros have created between Black women and women from other nations is irrational. They fail to see that we’re not competing. We’re not even playing on the same field.
So, the narrative that we’re going to be jealous and mad when we're not chosen - well, it just doesn’t exist. It’s one less thing Black women have to worry about.